Every relationship has those days when ‘ups and downs’ sounds like an understatement to describe it. At times, drama comes to the forefront rather than that passionate relationship which brought both of you together. Therefore, if you seem to feel that both of you are in need of some magic once again, then it is time for you to learn about fanaticizing passion rather than drama. Here is how you can take your love to revisit the flame and build a stronger, enriching connection.
Telling Them Apart: Drama vs. Passion
While drama and passion may be felt together at their purest level, they make all the difference in the conclusions. The following explains more about how differently they are:
Focus:
- Drama: Drama thrives off of a self-centered perspective. It is about winning arguments, proving who is right, and reliving past hurts. The story is built around “me” and “my” feelings whereby mostly your partner feels unheard and unimportant.
- Passion: Now, this is what the “we” approach means: passion toward shared goals, excitement toward the future, concern over the well-being of the other partner. This one is focused on how to lay a good relationship or build up positive memories with each other.
Emotional Effect:
- Drama: Drama’s a negative emotion. It gives fuel to anger, resentment, and frustration. It leaves one drained, emotionally exhausted, and disconnected from the partner.
Else, it is an uplifting emotion. It gives wings to feelings of excitement, happiness, and bonding. One feels energized, optimistic and conditioned toward the partner in passionate interaction.
Drama Communication Style:
- Drama: Drama deals in the language of accusations or blame games. This includes shutting down communication and holding grudges then milking on those past mistakes.
นำ Passion: A passionate person believes in open and honest communication. Partners have active listening. They express their needs and feelings respectfully and are open to an understanding of each other’s perspectives.
Examples:
Here is a situation where you happen to be very late for some event.
- Drama Scenarios: You show up frustrated and right off the bat, you blame your lover for being late. You both escalate the conversation into a fight about how many scenarios have recently played out when one or the other is late. Both of you walk away angry and resentful.
- Passion Scenario: You are running late and lived up to the frazzled stereotype; you’re really sorry. You tell of the unexpected circumstance and express frustration. Your partner has empathy and offers you some help in advancing time. Coupling empowers bonding, developing empathy.
The Bottom Line:
Drama feeds on negativity, blaming, and negativity. While passion is based on the positive, together, clinging to each other, and being willing to share experiences. By my observing differentiation and striving to build passion, it should help you change your relationship from dramatic to a medium filled with much love and happiness.
Shifting Focus: Drama to Passion
Ready to trade in drama for something at least slightly more enriching? Here are some quite workable measures that reach beyond merely identifying stimuli to your drama trigger buttons:
- Be a “We” Team: Drama loves to feed off an “us versus them” kind of mentality. Start changing your thinking to be in terms of a “we” philosophy. As one, pound out solutions and how to surmount the obstacles. Cheer on each other’s successes and serve to help hold people up when they are going through the tough times.
- Starve the Drama Dragon: Imagine drama as a fire-breathing dragon. Logically, what feeds it is the energy from negativity and conflict. So, quite simply, don’t feed the dragon! Take a deep breath, stand back if you can feel your pulse rising because you can feel that kneaded desire to respond to the dramatic overture. Keep focussed on the solution at hand, and avoid assigning blame to others in order to maintain objectivity and respect in communication.
Practice Active Listening: More than speaking, real communication has to do with genuinely hearing what your partner has to say. This means no judgment; mean listening to him period—no conditions. The more you understand his real feelings and validate them, the more open there will be to communication and fewer opportunities for the misunderstandings that tend to feed drama.
Find That Shared Spark: What bonded you together in the first place? Maybe adventure, or music, or just a sense of humor was really alive, and that is what got things moving. Get back into those common interests. Create activities that get you once more feeling the communal sparks of your relationship. Take a dance class, pick up the music, or have simply a weekend getaway that takes you back to the sense of adventure.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Don’t wait for those big gestures; celebrate small achievements and ordinary bonding moments. A ‘thank you’ for doing the dishes, appreciating his outfit, or some nice impromptu hug would keep the heat of the relationship in a very positive regard.
- Seek Professional Help (Optional): In case one is always pulled down by drama or the problem in your communication, then it would be time to finally seek professional help. It can be from a licensed couple’s therapist. The therapist would then help you with general guidelines and tools on conflict resolution, healthful and proper communication patterns, and ways to enhance the relationship better.
Remember: Effective change never comes with magic, overnight, or without much effort. If, with the best of intentions and efforts, you suffer setbacks and defeats in the face of trying these practices, then all is not lost. Keeping one’s attention on what’s divine in your relationship—by consciously turning an unseeing eye eventually towards drama—and cultivating passion, you gain the power to create an effective lifelong with your partner.
Also read: Unleashing the Magic: Using Stories to Teach Math
Investing in Your Relationship:
A relationship’s worth the investment one puts into it. Keeping the passion foremost over drama, therefore, doesn’t give a person a happy and fulfilled partnership but lays the kind of foundation which makes for a future together much stronger.